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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Jesus Christ Is My Healer (My Personal Testimony Part I)

Here is one chapter in my life that will always stay fresh in my mind. Sometimes I don’t want to think about it because it brings back a tremendous feeling in me but the Holy Spirit has been leading me to share it here in my blog. This experience in my life is a living proof that God is still the same yesterday, today and forever and miracles happen when we pray. I’m not telling this to glorify myself or anybody but to glorify the name of Jesus, my Healer.

It was September 1995 when I felt a lump in my left breast while I was taking a bath. I got worried but I can’t go to the doctor at that time because I had no money, no job and my grandmother who had been supporting us from her pension just passed away. My sister Violy was the sole bread-winner at that time and life was not that easy. I am a college graduate but it's not easy to get a job in the Philippines. I tried my best to look for one and I applied in different offices but no luck. Then after a few months of searching and applying the Lord finally answered my prayers and I landed a job in a public high school in our town on March 1996. After I got my first salary I went to see a doctor for a check up of the lump in my breast and he said I needed to have an excision for biopsy. I was so scared to go under the knife but with lots of prayers from my church, my family and my own prayers, I finally got the courage to go under the knife. My first salary just went to the doctor. To make the story short, after the biopsy, I was diagnosed of the Big C, breast cancer! I remember, I was with my aunt in the hospital when I got the biopsy result and I cried and cried. I asked God "Why me Lord? There are lots of bad people out there but why me of all people?" I said I’m still young and I’m going to die soon. To have a cancer is just like having a death sentence. My mother passed away because of breast cancer when I was 16 and I’ve witnessed how hard it was for her to suffer this disease. I prayed hard to God, at that time I was still a baby Christian but I believe that God can do miracles. I wanted an instant healing miracle like what I watched in the tv a few times but God had another plan. I just realized later that God deals with every individual differently based on their faith. 

I didn't want to have another surgery because I was so scared and I remember my sister and I used to cry at night. I told her I'm going to die like our mom, she had undergone surgery 3 times but she still died. But Violy encouraged me and with lots of prayers I agreed to undergo another surgery because I wanted to live longer. It was really so hard for me financially, my mind was bothered with my illness and I was also tortured of thinking where will I get the money needed for the surgery. My sister Violy decided to get a loan so I can have the money I needed for the surgery. Also my brother Celso just got a job and he helped me too. My neighbors who are well off were hesitant to loan me money because they thought I won't be able to pay it. This time I needed a lot of prayers again from my church and for one month I was the subject of their prayer meetings and also they came and prayed for me in our house. I needed the courage to go under the knife again. I was so nervous before I went to the operating room. My BP was high but the doctor decided to perform the operation anyway. Everything went alright after the surgery but it took some time for the wound to heal. Then I went back to work after a few days and I just took some medications which the doctor prescribed me to kill the cancer cells.

But lo and behold! After almost 2 years I had a relapse in 1998, the cancer came back and it was inflamed. This time I went to see another doctor in Baguio General Hospital. He’s an oncologist and he was the doctor of my late mom. He still remembered my mom and he said mother and daughter. I cried at that time and he recommended to me to have a chemotherapy and radiation therapy as soon as possible. I had to remedy again the money needed for the treatment. I was so depressed this time. My salary was not even enough to cover my treatment each month and I needed to have the chemo every 28 days for 6 consecutive months. I prayed to God to take care of my financial needs. I said to God that He owns the world and everything on it and I trusted Him that He will meet my needs and God has been so faithful. He provided all the money that I needed. He used other people to help me. Just after my 1st chemo my hair fell out and it really made me cry. I was so depressed because it was hard for me to lose my hair. Also I always throw-up until there was no more food in my stomach and I was worst than a pregnant woman because I didn’t even like the smell of certain foods. It made me throw-up too. My youngest brother Albin accompanied me in my treatment alternately with my aunt and my BF in Baguio each month. 

After my 2nd chemo, the worst happened. The effects of chemo and radiation therapy was worst than the cancer itself. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep for almost a week and it made me so weak. I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror because I saw an ugly woman whenever I look at the mirror due to the effects of the therapy. I was so thin, so dark, no hair and my fingernails were black. I was even ashamed to go out when other people came into the house. I hid in my room. I used a hat then I bought a wig from a beauty parlor to cover my bald head. That wig was ugly so I asked one of my friends who was working abroad to buy one and send it to me and she did, thank God. I almost died after my 2nd chemo. It felt like there was a heavy stone in my chest and I can’t lie down for even straight 5 minutes. When I sat down I got tired easily so I really didn't know what to do. I can't eat because my throat was sore due to my throw-ups. I knew my immune system at that time was so weak because of the chemo treatment. It killed the good and bad cells in my body. My room was upstairs and I can hardly go up there. I remember I even asked forgiveness from my father who was still alive at that time and all the members in my family because I thought I won’t live long. I really cried and I knew they had a hard time seeing me suffer. My sister and her husband took me to the hospital to have a dextrose to make me stronger but it didn't really helped a lot. Still I didn't feel any better. When everybody were all sleeping at night I was wide awake sitting down on my bed and looking at the sky talking to God and pleading my case. 

Then that memorable night happened. I was really so weak and can’t sleep for many nights already. I kneeled down beside my aunt and I cried out my heart to the Lord. I said to God that if it’s His will to take my life, then take it now because I already suffered a lot and I can't handle it no more but if it’s His will that I will live, then He will heal me. I said to God that I know that all people will die but I pleaded to Him to please extend my life so I can help my family and also His ministry. I claimed His promises in the Bible, like “I am the Lord that healeth thee" Exodus 15:26, “Ask and it shall be given”, Matthew 7:7, “Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24”, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" Hebrews 13:5, “With God nothing is impossible” Luke 1:37. While I was praying, my aunt knelt down too beside me and we both prayed and cried to the Lord to heal me for half an hour. I made a total surrender to the Lord. After that I laid down and I focused my thoughts on Jesus. I kept telling myself, Jesus loves me, Jesus loves me, then I drifted off to sleep for the first time after almost a week of not being able to sleep. When I was sleeping Satan came to disturb me because I dreamed of my mom having a lot of lumps in her body and I woke up. I rebuked Satan and commanded him to leave in Jesus’ name. I told him that greater is He who is in me (Jesus) than he who is in this world (satan). I really said it out loud. Then I went back to sleep and when I woke up in the morning I decided to go back to work. I had to fight my illness and won’t let the enemy win. From that time on I slowly gained back my strength and my healing has been slowly and surely.

Until now I’m cancer free and I'm not taking any medicine. It's been more than 12 years and I thank God I'm still alive. Jesus Christ has healed me! The Lord is really amazing! He’s the greatest physician in this world and I give Him all the glory, honor, praises and thanksgiving. He had also transformed me from glory to glory and I’m not ashamed to tell the whole world that Jesus Christ is my Healer, Provider, Comforter, Savior and Lord of my life and I belong to Him. Jesus Christ is also my coming King. This trial in my life had strengthen my faith in God and I developed a closer relationship with Him. This was really a test of faith and I am a living proof that Jesus Christ still heals today as long as you have faith. To anybody who is reading my testimony, it's my prayer that you'll be blessed and if you have any problems in your life, just go to Jesus and talk to Him through prayer. Nothing is too difficult for Him. What He has done for me, He can do it for you for He is no respecter of person. Just have faith. To God be the Glory.


1 comments:

Pinoy Diwa said...

Truly I was Blessed.
Indeed Jesus is alive for He is still in the healing business.
To God be the glory always!